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Right, let's talk about Brazil. Not the country itself (we'll get there), but the image of the Brazil map β that gloriously enormous green blob that takes up roughly half of South America and seems to be having a right old laugh at its neighbours. If you've ever glanced at a map of South America and thought, "Blimey, that looks like a face staring longingly towards the Andes," congratulations: you're not alone, and frankly, you've got a decent imagination. Cartographers with too much coffee have insisted for generations that Brazil resembles a profile of a chap looking west, complete with a rather prominent nose near Natal. Whether you see it or not, one thing is certain β Brazil doesn't do subtle. It borders ten of the twelve countries on its continent, politely skipping only Chile and Ecuador, presumably because even Brazil needs a day off.
There it is, in all its chunky magnificence. The image of the Brazil map is basically the geography equivalent of that one friend who books the entire sofa at a party. It sprawls across roughly 8.5 million square kilometres, making it the fifth-largest country on Earth β and the only one big enough to contain a rainforest that produces a fifth of the world's oxygen while simultaneously hosting spiders the size of dinner plates. Marvellous. The map itself is a triumph of squiggles: the northern bulge juts out into the Atlantic like a proud chin, the western frontier wiggles through the Amazon like a toddler's first attempt at drawing a straight line, and the southern tip tapers off towards Uruguay as if the country simply ran out of ink. Geographers call this a "complex border". We call it doodling with confidence.
Here's where it gets properly funny. Because Brazil is